Monday, 9 February 2015

POTTER brings Poetry & Prose back to our Pages

The New year means Percy Shelley takes a bow in the form of Ins n Outs so pin back your lug‘oles me old suckers....It’s a POEM!
Put the Vera’s Down and pay attention.
Keith LEMON muzzies and North Face onezies.
Hard case uncles and plastic face grannies,
Who go to town and talk about graft and blow off Dubliners now that is a fact.
Orange faced aunties standin’ around lookin’ down coked up noses of people on brown.
‘He was alright our Joey didn't rob from his own,
till he got lifted on a visit to Rome
with the league of welldoers from Scotland of Road, two-ed up wid a bag ‘ead from somewhere out east (ALBANIAN? the YEMEN?).
Or was it the priest who introduced bobby?
Or was it the beast who sat in the corner and grinned like a tool,
driving manically by his infant son’s school,
sayin’ “is rite lad is rite lad”
How many times can a repeat offender repeat his lines?
How long is a piece of string? Is the obvious answer!
Einstein, my friend, just wot is the answer then?
There goes the nephew driving too fast in,
not so sleepy, Dovecot reeekin’ of grass. ‘lad lad lad!
Yes the song remains the same:
me bird’s doin’ me head in. She needs to refrain
from Jeremy Kyle blags…
I’m not goin’ on, I have my credibility to think about.
Experimentation. I hope that's a word?
Some FLOYD ‘ead said (or was it a bird?
‘Twas a long time ago in the dole in town,
a steamin’ metropolis - white meetin’ brown,
on the dole in LIVERPOOL town,
Were north met south and queued in a line for our coins off Thatcher.
Make sure you’re on time, cos they’d have you
spluttering and blamin’ your ma,
or your da, or the broken down car.
Renshaw Hall, the place it was called, biggest in Europe. Fuckin massive! One weird place. Bizzies sittin’ off, ex wives, ex pats, ALL WAITING WAITIN……………..
Then off to the bier keller if u got the holies of holies: THE EMERGENCY GIRO.
Renshaw Hall Blues.
((Sorry, I really am only messing… Here goes....))
I’ve got those Renshaw Hall blues, late again.
I got nothing to lose, yer soft cunt!
You have delayed giro.
Renshaw Hall BLUES...
Hey Mr Postman! Sometimes you forget
on your visits to Ladbrokes, the nice girl in the vets
(with whom you’re madly in love). The whole street knows
the affair around canines ‘Why don't u propose?’
See we’re not really arsed, you committed no crime,
Just please Mr Postman get my giro on time.