Having murderous intent.
improper use of Tofu
Having a permanent look of bewilderment
Pampering your penis on a Thursday evening
Becoming aroused at the thought of a kebab
Claiming to know Nucky Thompson.
Going to Runcorn people watching just to make yourself feel normal.
Remembering Louis jeans.
Favouring mung beans.
Truly empathising with a psychopath.
Saying " yeah am partial to the odd nosh".
Blaming Islam for a a poor Derby performance.
Not knowing how to take it.
Mistaking baldy people for each other.
Telling someone over and over, “you look like a bouncer” (or Bizzie)
Shaping your pubes into a fringe to create your own Ringo Starr
Deaf school knickers
Slicing imperial soap
Smacking yer dad on the back of his head
The bombed out church
Tinned black pudding
Not giving a shit about facebook
Mad bastards who stop at nothing
Remembering haircuts in “Daves” (opposite the Royal, where kevin keegan went)
Bette Bright’s Big Bossom
Sitting on a plank across the barbers chair
Placing an macadamia nut in your bosses ear
Pork belly ice cream
Having a leather scrotum transplant
Having a B.A in B.S.
Stifling a loaf
Firm, muscular snails
Frying a hard-boiled egg
Ball crushing, green Jumbo cords
Resembling a walnut
Getting road rage on the bog
The next 5 years
Claiming to know…(ahhh, who gives a fuck)
Blogs (like this)
Confusing personal taste with fact
Farrage’s scrotum face
Discussing white goods
The Self Righteous
Concealing a poached egg
Telling everyone what exercise you have done that day
Telling everyone what you have eaten that day
Telling everyone what you earn
Telling everyone what gangsters you know
Telling everyone , “what you really mean”
Telling everyone about the big line you have just had
Disagreeing with trout
Smug pit bulls
Trying to be serious
Jangling about your mate on social network sites
Fat baldy scousers
Bizzies with handlebar moustaches
Your Tory mate
Gordon taylors monumental stupidity.
The continuing plan to make very city look the same
Diego Costas demonic eyebrows.
Van Galls unearthly forehead.
Saying "ups a daisy".
Counting on a considered reaction
Saying "i used to be a Grock".
Inexplicably starting to resemble Zak Dingle. (I’d consider this an IN meself)
Opening yer beer with a lighter (when a bottle opener is right in front of you)
Steve Allens Alien Anus
Telling people about their own country’s history
Discussing garden size, engine size and mortgages on a night out
Leaving a skiddy in yer mates bog
Tight fitting anything
Snarling at barmaids
Sending a bottle of champagne over