Memories of Billy Bullshitters-Dave Heymans

For a while you used top run a item on bullshitters in The End . I never got around to sending this one in , but it was inspired by the item . It was about a tales of some of the bullshitters we know or used to know , there were some crackers in The End . But heres mine . I must stress that for confidentiality reasons , none of the names have been changed , and i still see all named parties from time to time .I was serving my time as an apprentice joiner @ Wimpey trainning college in Bridle Rd , Bootle , and me and my mate Ste were finding it hard trying to keep a straight face listening to this cunts lies all the time . But we didnt ever bother pulling him up because we used to like the buzz of trying to catch him out . Me and Ste used to have scooters at the time and the bullshitter had said he used to ride out with Cloud 9 scooter boys from over the water . Well we used to know that these were a bunch of twats from Birkenhead who used to rob you Mirrors , or any other fuckin thing off your Lammy , when you used to go to Len Turners scooter shop in Rock Ferry .One of us used to stay outside while the rest went in to ensure we wernt getting one of those Crosville buses home through the tunnel . Well we new that Barnsey was lying about this fictional friendship with the twats from the one eyed city . So over a sausage and egg on toast the plan was hatched . It was a monday morning and we were all saying what we got up to over the weekend . We told Barnsey that we had a ride over to New Brighton with the Cloud 9 and had the craic with them all . We discribed plenty of them , complete with type of scooter , pillion passenger etc . But by putting it into words does not do the tale full justice . There were tears rolling down are cheeks , as we were turning away from each other as Barnsey answered each question as to did he know each and every one of the fictional members of the Cloud 9 . We had to stop in the end because we were unable to speak through the tears . But it was our loss as he had sussed us out and the bullshittery stopped or at least went down to a lesser level . cheers enders