INs
Exploding robins
Bald children
Balancing a peanut on your penis
Agent LVG
Starting a gang in your fifty's
Inexplicably sounding like Lee
Marvin in mid sentence.
Talking in back slang to your
dog.
Yearning for nothing in particular.
Finally grasping the complexities of
earl grey tea.Claiming to have copped for a female Kurdish freedom fighter.
Completely missing the point and
getting smacked because of it.
Boycotting boycotts.
Fiddle players crotch area,
Mary MacGregor's nipples
Having a perpetual look of disgust.
Becoming all teary eyed about Checkmate
(club)
The sinister re- emergence of Bowie
Kecks.
Jürgen klopps omnipresent smile.
Having a semi erotic dream about
Pauli walnuts of soprano’s fame.
Singing 'Salisbury hill' in your
sleep.
Shoulder charging a snail
Wearing yer sisters tights for work
Yodelling in the street end
Fantasising about runny yolks
Building a life size coffin with
your kids lego set
Smoking a kipper in a big fat cone
Being a daft ‘apeth
Holding on to your mates testicles
for dear life
Buying your mate Lidl Trainees for
his birthday
Wooden curtains
Friendly lesbians
Frisky sausages
Mouldy old dough (in the star and
garter)
Stashing yoghurt in your undies
Crotchless socks
Telling your dad he is gay
Having a big toe that looks like an
index finger
Dating a Salmon
Jeremey Corbyn’s wrinkled elbows
“mind yer car mate?”
Having an affair with Peter Purvis
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
OUTs
Pointing out my spelling erors
Joggers skin tags
Deluded fat people calling other
people fat
Wool behaviour
Reunions.
Knowing the right people
Getting beat up in a cupboard
Temporary insanity.
Coming home after six months with an
Alberto Moreno haircut.
The past catching up with you.
Your nan catching up with you
Polishing your knee’s
Sundried chips
Saying "stranger things have
happened".
Hilary Benn's treacherous eyes.
Lying about your age.
Regurgitating the same old shite.
Tracking down unfunny comedians.
Going missing from Facebook.
Indiscriminate Bombings of little
country's
Noticing Fiddle player crotch area’s
Fiddling with fiddle players crotch
area
Ian Ayres crotch rot (caught from
his leather motorbike cecks)
Biting bricks to impress the ladies
Badgering Burnley fans
Bumming a rolie
Surprising yer local bobby with a
friendly can of marrowfat peas
Being spiked in the 02
Proud of being a gobshite
Finding out Cameron also fucked an
eel
Pimping out your poodle
Working for the clampdown
Ambling
Having an index finger that looks
like a big toe
Thinking you are Shirley Valentine
Starting a phone sex line up in the
lounge of the Throttles nest
Scurrying
Flirting with your neighbours
wheelie bin
