INS
·
Inspecting your produce before you flush
·
Jah scouse
·
Filling your daughters pink doc martins with
sardines
·
Having exactly 1792 different specimens in yer
undies
·
Ian’s sandy Mcnab’s
·
Ordering
Jeremy Clarkson to teabag Maggie thatcher before you coolly club him
with a sock full of thruppeny bits
·
Jerry Lee lewis
·
Walking on the beaches , lookin’ at the…………………. used jonnies and rizla packets
·
Japanese porn
·
Glen Johnson’s acting skills in the mars ad
·
Glen Matlock’s fetlock
·
Yearning for the pasta
·
The Sand band
·
Breaking Bad
·
Thick as thieves
·
Knee length ball sac’s
·
Smoking pubes in yer 3 skinner
·
Mysterious stains
·
Creating havoc
·
Gaper’s
·
Telling your kid you stood on the Tooth
fairy..so that’s the end of that bollocks
·
8 out of 10 twats
·
Writing a song about yer mate’s girlfriend’s
thong
·
Staring at the rude boils
·
Friggin’ in Wigan
·
Finding yer ma in laws antwacky underskirt in
yer auld feller’s sock drawer.
·
Ingrowing toads
·
Proud erections
·
Planting cress seeds in yer ma’s belly button
·
Paul Simons mysterious elongated ear lobes
·
Uttering in Utah
·
Crispy fried sock
·
Hugging Rottweiler’s
·
A sneaky thumb job
·
Knitted books
·
Tottenham not making it to the champions league
·
Sweaty clefts
·
Easy skankin’
·
Using marmite as sex food
·
Shredded wheat on toast
·
kicking fuck out of anyone who sings “who like
de mango”
OUTS
·
The premier league
·
Media whores
·
Plazzy flags
·
Russell Bland
·
Ogling your kid’s teacher
·
Stephen Rotherham’s barnet
·
Borrowing your neighbours hair dryer every
Friday (you know who you are feller)
·
Jaggers jowls
·
Kieth’s
cardigan
·
Ringo’s Wrinkles
·
Paul’s Piles
·
Lennon’s Leggings
·
Pete’s pockets
·
Townsend’s
tiny testie’s
·
Roger’s ringworm
·
Daltry’s doughnut ring
·
Rod’s rotting rectum
·
Stewart’s skin tags
·
Crosby’s callipers
·
Nash’s Nashers
·
Still’s shrinking scrotum
·
Dylan’s Daiper’s
·
Zimmerman’s Zimmer frame
·
Klingons-(those bits of poo that cling on to the
hairs in yer ass crack)
·
The jelavic song
·
Old unsuccessful artists slagging other people
music tastes on social network sites
·
“Moduals”…if you have seen the casuals DVD
you’ll know what I mean…fuckin Knobuals more like.
·
Barry the Mod
·
Shitty, patronising money saving info adverts
·
Tory pricks…despites it obviousness, fuckin hell…anyone
who voted tory can just fuck right off
·
Assuming your own coolness
·
Bacon flavoured bubblebath.
·
Drogba’s goal celebration in the FA cup final.
·
Standing in the stands, arms outstretched.
·
Slip on shoes and too short skinny cecks
·
The wombats (again)
·
Flip charts
·
Ironing cornflakes at 3.47am
You can still
buy The END BOOK and read the original Funny Ins & Outs and stuff by Mick
potter, Peter Hooton, Kevin Sampson and co, plus letters from the Derby Lunatic Fringe!
