Ins
Your arse is on your head,
your arse is on your head, you arse is on your head (bring back bald footy
players and refs)
Cantinas
Saspirella
Knowing someone who has
shagged a tomato
Tony Bellows Big gash
Pete shelleys muzzy
Padding out your lunchbox/package
with rice pudding
Oxtail soup toasties
Sucking hard on an oxo
Placing a plaice in yer
mates hood
Smoking rice crispys in a
doobie
Putting a rice
crispy in your bosses top pocket
D.L.T perms
the D.L.T IS INNOCENT campaign.
Being suspicious,
Pork flavoured custard
smoking fresh air,
sly kicks at pets,
knowing what blind scouse is,
snitchin on snitches,
reading echo obituaries before your mar has,
not understanding family etiqutte,
still enjoying pub quizs
not knowing any hard cases at all and enjoying that fact
remembering Kojaks watch
Coal
Bartering with butter
Putting hot dogs in your mates ma’s central heating cupboard
Dicing with Dench
Giving your nan a butt plug for chrimbo
Providing an example to Example…before hastily flinging him off the 14th
Floor
Coffee butties
Curried cotton
Playing cricket on your own
Dreadlock’d pubes
The Systematics
Punching a pygmy
Slapping slid
Chinning Chris Malone
Giving yer boss a
cheeky kiss on his bald head when you’re clocking off
Wearing footy socks
over yer jeans
Eating yer mates
daughters chicken nuggets while yer mates on the phone
“size of a mammoth”
Loitering in Leeds
Dogging in Dagenham
Smirking in Smedley
Rioting in Rhyl
Diarrhea in Derby
Wearing your
aunties thong
Massaging your
bosses lego
OUTs
Ian fucking Ayre and his
harley
Knee length testies
Mark Lawrenson
Manager of the month curse
Knowing someone who sends
champagne over to people they know
That mad manc firm at the
buzzcocks gig (50 yr olds in sheepie’s in a mosh pit isn’t a great look)
Scousers on those magaluf
tv programmes
Rimming a rhino
Lushwives
“Hurr hurrr hurrr” laughs
BRodgers self portrait
You STILL wearing
hoodies? Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
wearing your lads north face
jimmy saville rinses,
talking about lines all the fuckin time
saying totally agree mate, when you’re thinking get me away from this
boring fuck
being stressed,
stressing out,
stressing over xmas menus
the word stress,
not being stressed out
not recognising stress,
stress related cardigans
refuting things
having a cat as a mate,
whistling soft porn tunes,
remembering,
concentrating ,
the word bugle,
having a cousin who’s a loon
shouting medication time on the train
robbin’ rembrandts.
Stealing steak
Nicking Nike
Pickpocketing Police
Talking teak
Getting a tit nudge off yer nan
Young pups passing on wisdom to you
Having a spat with China,
Kicking fuck out of a sausage
Ball bag beards
“Dickcember”( leave your dick hanging out your zipper for the entire month
of December for charity)
Polishing your elbows
Frying a frozen fritter on a Friday
Diced soup.
Collecting grass
Townies
Getting yer mates daughter to hold yer ciggy while you eat her chicken
nuggets
Breaking your nipple
Felching in Fulham
Bumming in brum
Massaging your bosses ego
Remembering Scottie Road
Snarling at a sweaty growler
D. wing
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