Ins
- Adrian Chiles’ testicle like jowels
- Argentina’s brasil decime que se siente song
- Finding cabbage in your undies
- Farting at 4.15 on a Friday
- Telling yer ma she looks fuckin hot today
- The Brazilian kajagoogoo look
- hard-case seagulls
- Coffee benders.
- Irreverence
- Misanthropic hippies.
- Offering your laptop out in frustration.
- Saying "it’s not a problem" for no apparent fucking reason.
- Listening to someone debating the semantics of "doing one"or
- "getting on one"
- Getting off one
- Sideboards on yer face
- Sideburns in yer living room (with plazzy flowers on)
- Arse beards
- Throwing 6593 buttons in your girlfriends face while she sleeps
- Pretending your saw Ian McNabb on Neil Youngs support bill
- Having girth
- Asking for a gam
- Doing keepy ups with a mouth organ
- Playing “blowing in the wind” on a tennis ball
- Finishing your partners (jail) sentences
- Giving peace a chance
- The ever increasing realisation that your country’s (respected?) media tells lies and hides truth
- Sapporo lager
- Shitting on yer neighbours lawn at 3.40 a.m.
- Bindipping…yes, that’s what we do in Liverpool, (you stupid inbred southern ignorant gobshites)
- Remembering the Rubettes keyboard player
- Kim Gorden (yes, still!)
- Phil Collins secret stash of corned beef stashed offshore near Anglesey
- Staring at rude boys
- Chicken thighs after sex
- Big fat calves
- Casual rolling stones nights
- Nicky Morgans tales of passion in the classroom (Book 2 )
- Nick Caves cavernous cock conundrum (should he splice it thrice, or not?)
- CSI (if “CSI”= Croxteth should implode)
- Peaches
- Gear change wanks
- Flicking snot on James Cordens back
- Putting cress seeds around yer sweaty bollock when you go to bed
- Making the Mrs egg and cress butties
- Asking the waiter to join you
- Asking your granddad if you can borrow butt plug
- Charging a mars bar over night
- Penis shaped chicken fillets
- Japanese blackpudding
- Volleying the milkman
- Having an affair with a snooker cue
- Balancing corned beef
- Tripping your mates 2 year old up
- Asking for a gobble
- Riding a pizza
- Ted Dansons extraordinarily long ball bag
- Exposing gobshites
- Soap on toast
- Feeling a left tit
- Tomato sauce lolly ices
- Getting a balloon attached to a stick off the rag man
- Swerving coke ‘eds
outs
- Saying “come on then” (instead of just getting on with the job in hand)
- The Brazil crowds shrieking rendition of their Anthem
- Asking for a pint of walnuts at your local
- Curry flavoured edible knickers
- Remembering the Goodies
- claiming to know a favela crew.
- talking defensive tactics with your cat.
- The Chilean Travis bickle look.
- saying "the space behind"
- Linekers noisome smirk.
- Lurid teenage beards.
- Britain's firsts dads army type brigades.
- Being young and healthy (twats!)
- Cockneys (again)
- Cock eyed cockney’s
- Telling folk the plural of cockney is Cocti
- Getting legged by cocti
- Teenagers in waistcoats
- Skinny lad legs
- Circumcised budgies
- Cardboard jammy’s
- Pencil dicks
- Forgetting what you were going to …
- conservative Conservatives
- labour intensive labour voters
- Anti-social Socialists
- Undemocratic Democrats
- Undisclosed closure
- Angry nipples
- Dramatic photos of oneself in the theatre
- Forgetting who your mates were
- MP’s and Musician publicity photos
- Supporting a club that doesn’t give a fuck about its original core fans
- Indiscriminate bombings of civilians
- Living in an area so shite that shootings don’t even make the local papers, never mind the tabloids
- Bootle Strand
- Being a wacky, “cool” senior manager
- Sugary armpits
- Getting someone else to reply on your behalf (shithouse)
- Not realising you’re a twat
- Chelsea……just everything, classless twats
- Being shit on by the club you support
- Mixed veg stuffed In your foreskin
- Imaging The Rubbettes keyboard player making scouse
- Wool bosses thinking they are street
- Moist pencil tips
- Mates who tell you how many reps they have done
- Being dead serious
- Cock rot
- Still talking about breaking bad
- Gobshite shouting “Neil Diamond” over and over at Neil Young gig?
- Judging
- Channelling god via Boris’s arse
- Excusing yourself
- Bullshitting about your VOTE
- Forgetting your rooooooots
- Shitting bull shit
- Expecting victory
- Self-declared hard men
- Cars with love handles
- Parsnip parties
- Expecting solidarity
This is hilarious!
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