Friday, 13 March 2015

Potter's Poems.


Ohh Mrs!! Titter ye not! How very very dare PSG!

Jose,Jose, in your 4 grand jacket
Prowlin’ the line ,must be on a packet
A gesture a sneer well fancy that
on order from Harrods here’s your jesters hat
Croydon’s top casuals havin’ it large
a lone metro traveller easy to barge.
See they love you they love you wohh-wwwohh
The Hugo Boss fatties, next stop Savlle row ?
To your credit, you slagged them, which I really admire
nearly as much… as I like your attire.
I’m growin’ quite fond of your Frankie Howard pout

next time when you,re miked up just take a time out.
Cos the clich├ęd pundits Messer’s Lineker
& co
drone on like a space cake minus weed to much dough.
You don’t fool me, you love playin' the fool
just like all the great showmen you’ve only one rule.
Keep the punters happy, yes you’ll get my vote
and when xmas is comin’ please send me that coat.



The Horribly long-oval faced twat, JC (jowl'd  cunt) Himself

Not really sure wot it is I hate most
the name of the show or the moronic hosts.
Talk about pistons and the strength of a horse
A nuclear strike I’d happily endorse
Middle age toffs, Henry n’ Henrietta,
Baying like sheep things can only get better
says the one who resembles a sad seventies  clone
or a geography teacher still living at home
Then comes Thomally Sebastian  and tomboy little sis
named after her brother, oh heavenly bliss!
Yes she’s Ttom with two tt’s, our fave nanny did choose
to close to our horses she plied them with booze.  
Paps said “bestiality to me, that's just fine  
It’s a oneness with livestock, simply devine”!
By now dear readers it’s so plain to see
I’m more for Lambrini than Lambourgini
Stout yeomen, three stooges , I need to redress
It’s the top gear audience I fuckin detest

Tuesday, 3 March 2015

Ben Turner is a Dead Man- Ryan Bracha (book Review)

Its well documented that I am a big supporter of the musings of the talented indie writer Ryan Bracha. I've read and reviewed pretty much all of his books and remain convinced this is a writer with a massive future. 
Ben Turner is a Dead Man is part 2 of a trilogy of books he is writing that followed on from the equally excellent Paul Carter is a Dead Man
The Books are set in a not too distant or unbelievable future where New Britain has closed ranks against the world due to Britain's delusional Political Leader's ongoing paranoia about the threat of terrorism and immigration. It's essentially a police state where law and order is governed by groups of violent right wing law enforcement networks who after detaining suspects allow the the great British public to decide their fate via a social network style voting system. 
In the First book a rebellion by an unlikely group of criminals (including the Hero of Book 2 Ben Turner) escalates into a violent and bloody attack on the heart of the law enforcement network before escaping to the nirvana that Scotland has become. However the activities of Mr Carter and his cohorts have planted a seed that has started to grow in Britain which results in further bloody activities and protests.
In The second book Paul Carter's right hand man (Ben Turner) is sent back into England with a gang of mad Scottish cronies to sort out a rogue group of (unlikely) activists, who are travelling the country systematically killing Law enforcement officers in wonderfully violent and gory manners (led by the enigmatic and sadistic Natalie). In the meantime the ex right hand man of the countries leader (Harry Garner) has headed in the opposite direction to approach Paul Carter to address the rogue killers. Much violence ensues along with all manner of brilliant twists and turns until all is revealed in a live televised broadcast by Ben.
As usual with Ryan Bracha's work, the pace is relentless, the humour dark and the violence is VIOLENT. This man pulls no punches! It was one of those books where you almost try to slow down to make the reading experience last that bit longer..oh and at the time of writing this the book is available for the ridiculous price of 99p!? ...what the fuck are you waiting for..go buy this book!

Buy it here