Friday, 31 March 2017

a few Derby day Ins & Out's


· Keeping a walnut handy

· Donald’s teeny tiny hands and penis

· Using sandpaper to clean that stubborn clingon

· Green Bra’s

· Burger nip’s.

· Storing porridge in yer Y-fronts on the drive to work

· Burnt Ends.

· Using stuffed crust as a belt.

· Bootle South Youth Club disco

· 3 button waist bands

· Remembering Adrian Poster

· A giant raft in the Philippines

· The Blarney Stone, NYC .

· Bob Mortimer’s face

· Getting Mexico to pay for the building of your new extension.

· ¾ Club

· Starting a Jumbo Cord’s gang

· Vicky McClure

· Cow Egg’s

· Finding part of a leek In ones underpants.

· Singing a racey song and getting caught.

· catching your auntie snorting a line.

· Snuff.

· Lionel Blair lookalikes .

· Pickled onion crisps

· Teaching yer grandma to suck legs

· Dithering

· Chemistry sets

· Telling the window cleaner he makes you wet

· Wearing a fringe like Roger mcGuinn

· Beans on Toads

· Kennedy (too much apple pie)

· String vests

· Kentucky avenue

· Knee scabs

· Violent French women

· Les Need

· Forgetting

· Burnt ends

· Ponderosa Glee Boys

· Sister Jacqueline & Carmella

· twats


· twats

· mates who remember everything

· Everything

· Ignoring fat cunts

· Avoidance Robbie on The Jump

· Using yer nans bloomer’s as your wank sock

· absorbing

· Salt and pepper chip eating supporters

· Salt and pepper’s lonely hearts club band

· Remembering Gizmo from Brookside at 4.17am

· Political images on your facebook

· Political images on your face

· Asking your nan if she wants to go to the beauticians for a facial

· Buying yer mates daughter chocolate and flowers

· The Blarney Stone, Renshaw Street

· Naming your penis “betty”.

· Being invited to a beak and beef barbeque.

· Gobshite Ginger snarler’s in Ye Cracke

· Not being there.

· The green jackets coming to play OXO on your arse

· Tooled up townies

· Positively reinforcing to your mate that he is indeed a prick.

· Being gallant for no apparent reason.

· wondering aimlessly and still getting lost.

· waking up with your face looking like a bowl of Borsch soup.

· Themed wanks.

· Being rather partial to kale.

· The return of the community oddball.

· saying Eh up.

· The female mick Jagger lips phenomenon currently sweeping Liverpool.

· Auld cunts commenting on current phenomenons

· Pop up Pre-fabricated pubs

· saying 'if I was ten years younger'.

· Mistaking everyone with a beard for each other.

· People with no mates and telling you where you’ve gone wrong

· Modern Football

· Trying to impress people by saying you like Elbow

· Joe Anderson

· Let downs

· Pride in your bellend