Ins 
·         Keeping a walnut handy 
·         Donald’s teeny tiny hands and penis 
·         Using sandpaper to clean that stubborn clingon 
·         Green Bra’s 
·         Burger nip’s. 
·         Storing  porridge in yer  Y-fronts on the drive to work 
·         Burnt Ends. 
·         Using stuffed crust as a belt. 
·         Bootle South Youth Club disco 
·         3 button waist bands 
·         Remembering Adrian Poster 
·         A giant raft in the Philippines 
·         The Blarney Stone, NYC . 
·         Bob Mortimer’s face 
·         Getting Mexico to pay for the building of your new extension. 
·          ¾ Club 
·         Starting a Jumbo Cord’s gang 
·         Vicky McClure 
·         Cow Egg’s 
·         Finding part of a leek In ones underpants. 
·         Singing a racey song and getting caught. 
·         catching your auntie snorting a line. 
·         Snuff. 
·         Lionel Blair lookalikes . 
·         Pickled onion crisps 
·         Teaching yer grandma to suck legs 
·         Dithering 
·         Chemistry sets 
·         Telling the window cleaner he makes you wet 
·         Wearing a fringe like Roger mcGuinn 
·         Beans on Toads 
·         Kennedy (too much apple pie) 
·         String vests 
·         Kentucky avenue 
·         Knee scabs 
·         Violent French women 
·         Les Need 
·         Forgetting 
·         Burnt ends 
·         Ponderosa Glee Boys 
·         Sister Jacqueline & Carmella 
·         twats 
Outs
·         twats 
·         mates who remember everything 
·         Everything 
·         Ignoring fat cunts 
·         Avoidance Robbie on The Jump 
·         Using yer nans bloomer’s as your wank sock 
·         absorbing 
·         Salt and pepper chip eating supporters 
·         Salt and pepper’s lonely hearts club band 
·         Remembering Gizmo from Brookside at  4.17am 
·         Political images on your facebook 
·         Political images on your face 
·         Asking your nan if she wants to go to the beauticians for a facial 
·         Buying yer mates daughter chocolate and flowers 
·         The Blarney Stone, Renshaw Street 
·         Naming your penis “betty”. 
·         Being invited to a beak and beef barbeque. 
·         Gobshite Ginger snarler’s in Ye Cracke 
·         Not being there. 
·         The green jackets coming to play OXO on your arse 
·         Tooled up townies 
·         Positively reinforcing to your mate that he is indeed a prick. 
·         Being gallant for no apparent  reason. 
·         wondering aimlessly and still getting lost. 
·         waking up with  your face looking like a bowl of Borsch soup. 
·         Themed wanks. 
·         Being rather partial to kale. 
·         The  return of the community oddball. 
·         saying Eh up. 
·         The female  mick Jagger lips phenomenon  currently sweeping Liverpool. 
·         Auld cunts commenting on current phenomenons 
·          Pop up Pre-fabricated pubs 
·          saying 'if I was ten years younger'. 
·          Mistaking everyone with a beard for each other. 
·          People with no mates and  telling you where you’ve gone wrong 
·         Modern Football 
·         Trying to impress people by saying you like Elbow 
·         Joe Anderson 
·         Let downs 
·         Pride in your bellend