Any sympathy I may have had for Bayern Munich after serial cheat Robben and co failed to score in the dismal champions league final quickly evaporated. The reason is simple tattoos or in this case tatoo. As the BAYERN players slumped to the ground on the final whistle Robben wondering how long the cheque would take to clear in his Indonesian bank account((,incidentally how come there’s a media blackout regarding the fuckin beach ball lobbed on the pitch as R.E.M ROBBEN slotted the penno into his bezzie mates tiny hands) my not so eagle eye detected an offensive some might say evil attack of the Indian ink .BAD BOYZS .Yep ill say it again Bad boyz not entirely sure whether the z was their but it was definitely a bad followed by the word boy .Bad Boyzs chiselled on the forearm of a Bayen player for all the world to see its just not right is it ?Now i know previous End blogs have prattled on about taTtoos as The End mag did 30 years ago but it really does require further investigations. Step into the dock David Beckham sentenced without trail to 30 lashers of a leather belt the type only owned by "Greebos " and Crystal Palace fans and to remain with Victoria until she puts on a bit of beef. So what happened to Becks ?One minute he was a lovely lad immensley talented footballer the next thing is he would,nt have looked out of place humping amps emblazoned Monster Of Rock.I reckon he quite fancied a cute little swallow popular as early as the 30,s in her Majestys b&bs especially H.M.P WALTON but was cunningly duped possibly even drugged by sinister forces weilding needles and ink ...... the tattoo man. The cute Swallow became an Eagle swooping down to pluck a Meercat to feed her ravenous young. "How about a water-fall cascading over sun kissed rocks with an INCA warrior standing atop surveying all before him wondering what his fore-fathers would make of the hydro electric dam which gave so many things yet changed so many things ", "Will you fit all that in "quipped a naive becks , ""an extra grand and i throw in some ancient text." " What will this ancient text say " slurred our hero as the knock out gas kicked in." Peace Love Harmony and nice things.
to every living thing even nasty spiders and cockies." sobbed tatoo man. By now a delirious becks was heard to mumble, " throw in an ankle tatoo for the missus " he then drifted off. The rest as they say is history.
Following on from the afore-mentioned beach ball champions league incident which, apparently john terry did nt even see "wot penalty" he pondered a E..U.F.A sponsored investigation as narrowed the culprit down to a fat lad with a Lyle and Scott jumper tied around the waist with a mate from Scotland. 10,000 interveiws to flow--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You can still buy The END BOOK and read other hilarious stuff by Mick potter, Peter Hooton, Kevin Sampson and co, plus letters from the Derby Lunatic Fringe!
There are a limited amount of signed copies in Waterstone’s on Bold Street and in the Liverpool 1 shop. … and of course you can still get it on line here.