Christmas Ins & Outs 2016

 IN’s

·         Having an unhealthy liking for Offal

·         Harbouring a sick sexual desire for Angela Eagles Muzzie.

·         The re-emergence of Charlie Dimicks nipples.

·         Saying 'Bunkum' whilst trying to appear angry.

·         Backstabbing a nice genial Hippy.

·         flicking chickpeas at your cat.

·         Blaming Corbyn  for the Christmas shits.

·         Calling everyone 'Jack'.

·         Pseudo pricks.

·         Agreeing to disagree .

·         Proclaiming in a boastful manner that you have a small penis.

·         Shoplifting a single Mushroom.

·         Hoping your ex was caught up in the Turkish coup.

·         Jonathon Owens’ Mrs.

·         balsa wood undies

·         salt n pepper ribs

·         Coming out of a coma (go ‘ed Elaine! And Les!)

·         (Persian) Merseyside Corduroy lingerie

·         Discussing Octopi

·         Nights out with your best mates nan

·         Mouthing swear words at the priest during Mass

·         Watering your tele

·         Wearing anal beads with pride for Sunday mass

·         Paolo and Donetti’s

·         Leeds fans back at Anfield

·         Planting a sausage

·         Deciding to deviate

·         Filling your mates toilet tank with porridge oats

·         Onion Banjo’s

·         Devo

·         Bumfluff butties

·         Re-growing your old flick

·         Cold custard straight from the can

·         Deliberately being a cantankerous twat

·         Curry pasties

·         Christmas knickers

·         Christmas Kickers

·         Slow mo wanks

·         Punching the wall and breaking your hand when LFC score against you in the last minute, in the derby

·         Filling your socks with stuffing and pineapple chunks

·         Drinking a pint of gravy

·         Throwing ollies at leccy legs

·         Furry dicks

OUT’s

·         Christmas undies

·         Signing off every message with a turban emoji

·         Getting Lynx Africa again

·         Getting drank under the table by your daughters

·         Gear stick wanks

·         Remembering Pete Burns, fondly.

·         Proper WOOL colleagues commenting..on anything

·         Craving a carvery

·         Having no empathy

·         Snobby ex punks, thinking they are the only punk that mattered or existed

·         Having beef on FB

·         Dingle

·         Twitter experts

·         Bulging ball bags covered in soup

·         Stalking Don Letts

·         Wools using scouse expressions

·         Getting offered Charlie every 10 yards when you’re walking down a street in Portugal with your teenage daughters.

·         Saying "just wow",

·         Korean billy (annoying little prick)

·         Zlatan’s vagina

·         being sociable

·         Coffee sandwhiches

·         Knowing about cars

·         Noticing the noticeable bulge

·         Fantasising about covering Theresa May with salt and pepper flavouring

·         Brass bands at the match

·         Political posts on social media

·         Christmas

·         Not having a filter

·         Chirpy cockneys

·         Fashioning a bra from the Liverpool Echo

·         Bootle Blert (Nuttall)

·         Grey beards

·         Hillsborough songs in The ‘Angus

·         Parry’s

·         Sensitive soles

·         Leccy Legs

·         Aigburth

·         Ignoring yer mates calls

·         Not writing any ins & Outs for 10 months

·         Figging

·         Drinking your mates present

·         Defending Simple Minds

·         Mustard smoothies

·         The UB40 family divorce

·         Hiding the MDMA under your forskin