Monday, 26 December 2016

Christmas Ins & Outs 2016


·         Having an unhealthy liking for Offal
·         Harbouring a sick sexual desire for Angela Eagles Muzzie.
·         The re-emergence of Charlie Dimicks nipples.
·         Saying 'Bunkum' whilst trying to appear angry.
·         Backstabbing a nice genial Hippy.
·         flicking chickpeas at your cat.
·         Blaming Corbyn  for the Christmas shits.
·         Calling everyone 'Jack'.
·         Pseudo pricks.
·         Agreeing to disagree .
·         Proclaiming in a boastful manner that you have a small penis.
·         Shoplifting a single Mushroom.
·         Hoping your ex was caught up in the Turkish coup.
·         Jonathon Owens’ Mrs.
·         balsa wood undies
·         salt n pepper ribs
·         Coming out of a coma (go ‘ed Elaine! And Les!)
·         (Persian) Merseyside Corduroy lingerie
·         Discussing Octopi
·         Nights out with your best mates nan
·         Mouthing swear words at the priest during Mass
·         Watering your tele
·         Wearing anal beads with pride for Sunday mass
·         Paolo and Donetti’s
·         Leeds fans back at Anfield
·         Planting a sausage
·         Deciding to deviate
·         Filling your mates toilet tank with porridge oats
·         Onion Banjo’s
·         Devo
·         Bumfluff butties
·         Re-growing your old flick
·         Cold custard straight from the can
·         Deliberately being a cantankerous twat
·         Curry pasties
·         Christmas knickers
·         Christmas Kickers
·         Slow mo wanks
·         Punching the wall and breaking your hand when LFC score against you in the last minute, in the derby
·         Filling your socks with stuffing and pineapple chunks
·         Drinking a pint of gravy
·         Throwing ollies at leccy legs
·         Furry dicks


·         Christmas undies
·         Signing off every message with a turban emoji
·         Getting Lynx Africa again
·         Getting drank under the table by your daughters
·         Gear stick wanks
·         Remembering Pete Burns, fondly.
·         Proper WOOL colleagues commenting..on anything
·         Craving a carvery
·         Having no empathy
·         Snobby ex punks, thinking they are the only punk that mattered or existed
·         Having beef on FB
·         Dingle
·         Twitter experts
·         Bulging ball bags covered in soup
·         Stalking Don Letts
·         Wools using scouse expressions
·         Getting offered Charlie every 10 yards when you’re walking down a street in Portugal with your teenage daughters.
·         Saying "just wow",
·         Korean billy (annoying little prick)
·         Zlatan’s vagina
·         being sociable
·         Coffee sandwhiches
·         Knowing about cars
·         Noticing the noticeable bulge
·         Fantasising about covering Theresa May with salt and pepper flavouring
·         Brass bands at the match
·         Political posts on social media
·         Christmas
·         Not having a filter
·         Chirpy cockneys
·         Fashioning a bra from the Liverpool Echo
·         Bootle Blert (Nuttall)
·         Grey beards
·         Hillsborough songs in The ‘Angus
·         Parry’s
·         Sensitive soles
·         Leccy Legs
·         Aigburth
·         Ignoring yer mates calls
·         Not writing any ins & Outs for 10 months
·         Figging
·         Drinking your mates present
·         Defending Simple Minds
·         Mustard smoothies
·         The UB40 family divorce
·         Hiding the MDMA under your forskin


  1. Aigburth? I'll have you know it's a tourist attraction in the good ol' US of A!