Sunday, 21 February 2010

Insisting on Noise (in a restaurant)
Ironing your cornflakes
Cardboard frying pans
Tom Waits …………..(free pass to any “In” column)
New Brighton
People who inhale loudly before speaking
Northern Soul
Chippy Friday
Topfight Muffs
Inappropriate hair
Genesis corner/Gatsbys (even though I fuckin hate genesis)
Northern Soul
“Get off your arse!!!!!!!!!!”
Concrete down your best mans toilet
Pictures of Lily
Shane Mcgowans wife
Eating beans cold from the tin
Colouring in your mates wrinkles while they sleep
Battleship grey
Playing rugby on your own
Shitting into a bowl of Cashews
Not listening…nah nah nah.
Using Ham as a means to tempt ones hair to re-grow
Spooning the colleague who sits on your left, at lunch time
Putting phone numbers and love notes in your boss's bag
Farting on the bus, and blaming the old dear in front of you
Blagging u know someone on Big Brother...last series
Hot dogs with ice cream
Selling your car to tourists
Convincing yer ma she's famous
Designer plasters
Drinking real ale without seriously getting involved
Throwing flowers off the top deck of the bus
Making blag flyers for the Summer Of Love 2007
Pretending you liked school
Doing a runner from the barbers
Waving at people in bus queues you don't know
Marzipan ice cream
Stinging in the rain
Hunting for Buffallo wings in Zambia
Asking HMV staff for the latest album of a band you just made up
Picnics on motorway hard shoulders
Growing pointy Midge Ure sidies on your back
Asking for directions then walking off without listening
Top hats
Top Shits
Formulating follicles
Walking on hares
Wearing suzzies & basque to the shops
Voodoo marmalade
Herringbone ice cream
Nun's dancing like loons
Breasts that speak
Fried lettuce
Dipping yer Black pudding into curry
Nestling a rice crispy in your left ear.

Over the top scouse-ness (yer know who yer are!)
The Wombats (where they ever IN?)
People who inhale loudly, after speaking.
Re warmed chippy chips
Your girlfriends pyjmama’s
Liverpool One
Topflight Mfs
West derby
West kirby
West kirkby
West life
West yorkshire police
The Beautiful South
The Printworks
Remembering the Scarlets bar
Utah Saints
Fearing the pastie
Formulating a plan
Students (still, after all those years)
Huggy people
Having a clue
Scouse LUFC fans
Being a geezer
Using ham as bait for a BJ
Spooning your uncle
Dreaming of a better future
Deep fried Mobiles (It's a Geordie thing)
Secret passages
Scars that have a story
Acid trips
Big mad clouds
Dr Who scarves on Sociology lecturers (twats)
Property developers
Dancing in the moonlight
Dado rails
Mad uncles
Wearing yer jarmies to the shops
Holidays abroad
Big red cars coming right at yer
Pretending to be famous
Corned beef pasties coming right at yer
Breaking into Duncan Ferguson's house while he's still there
Vicars with big teeth
Kebabs that are still moving
Half-mast golf trousers
Taxi drivers with rockabilly hairstyles coming right at yer
Discussing issues
Washing your salad with bleach
Hoping for the best
Moshing in your bath
Testicles that remind you of Dusseldorf
Positively identifying your arse
Raisin sarnies
Bellyflopping at the zebra crossing (how embarrassing)
Comforting your genitals
Being reproachable
Considering punctuation
Marmite helmets

1 comment:

  1. Where do monocles fall???? In or out? I vote "In" They are making a comeback!!! So it is said...