Friday, 9 March 2012

girls with deep voices
Metal Pubes
Buttoning up yer mates jacket in the alehouse
Bin dippers
Piss fights
Fanny packs
Knowing your place
Knowing your place is standing over the prone figure of the gobshite who thinks he’s above you.
End Undies
Blowbacks with the father in law
Hot cross beans
Selling meat to your workmates
Eating Humus in the bog
Horlicks Butties
Paddy Shenanigans
Jorgie Porter
Recreating Genesis Corner in the Big House
Living in the Pasta
Lessons to learn how to play the banjo string
Cautionary tales about impending dhioreha
Pints of Sausages
Telling yer mates ma her arse is looking particularly biteable that day
Breaking Bad
Jam on Toad
Bacon Face
Hiding Eggs in your father in laws suits
Filling your daughters Barbie slippers with chippy gravy
Nu Paul Doyer
Crystal meth omelettes
Smack the rich up
Kidnapping a hoodie
Spiking Prince Philip
Desmond Dickhead
Uptown top Wanking
Big Ben R.I.P. Canny Farm 2012
The “marshmallows up the arse” game

Biding your time
Gegging in
The End Fanzine
Jim Bean
The End Book
Uncle Joes meat free balls
Promoting The End Book
Selling The End Book
Signing The End Book
Aunties showing their legs in the party
Reading The End Book
Bleaching a beached whale
Talking about the end Book
Skinny dipping in the Leeds/ canal (Bootle strand branch)
Remembering The End
End Book T shirts
Beauts who continually make smart arse comments on your facebook/myspace etc
Wannabe scousers
Going for a meal with your old headmaster
Thinking that having a big dog makes you hard
Black clothing
Saying “lets have it”
Lecturers in skinny jeans
Saying “That's how I roll”
Gobby Cockneys
Assuming you represent the fans
Still asking people if they have the right time, at the match
Training your dog to do fuck all, ever.
Assuming yer mates are interested in yer Lads Sunday footy exploits
Trying to tackle serious political issues twitter/facebook updates
Paying £200 grand for a round of drinks (Knob)
Keeping a pigeon under your pillow
Andy Carrolls pony (it’s the curse of LFC..when it goes, all those woodwork attempts will go in, …..and we can all stop cringeing at his “do”)

You can still buy The END BOOK and see funnier ins & outs than these, that
although they are 30 years old, still make my mate Andy roar with laughter.
There’s a
limited amount of signed copies in Waterstones on Bold Street and in the
Liverpool 1 shop. and of course you can still get it on line here

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