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Wednesday, 28 November 2012

INs & OUTs November 2012


IN's

·         Your arse is on your head, your arse is on your head, you arse is on your head (bring back bald footy players and refs)

·         Cantinas

·         Saspirella

·         Tony Bellows Big gash

·         Pete shelleys muzzy

·         Padding out your lunchbox/package with rice pudding

·         Oxtail soup toasties

·         Sucking hard on an oxo

·         Placing a plaice in yer mates hood

·         Smoking rice crispys in a doobie

·         Putting a rice crispy in your bosses top pocket

·          D.L.T perms

·         the D.L.T IS INNOCENT campaign.

·         Beiing suspicious,

·         smoking fresh air,

·         sly kicks at pets,

·         knowing what blind scouse is,

·         snitchin on snitches,

·         reading echo obituaries before your mar has,

·         not understanding family etiqutte,

·         still enjoying pub quizs

·         not knowing any hard cases at all and enjoying that fact

·         remembering Kojaks watch

·         Coal

·         Bartering with butter

·         Putting hot dogs in your mates ma’s central heating cupboard

·         Dicing with Dench

·         Giving your nan a butt plug for chrimbo

·         Providing an example to Example…before hastily flinging off the 14th Floor

·         Coffee butties

·         Curried cotton

·         Playing cricket on your own

·         Dreadlock’d pubes

·         The Systematics

·         Punching a pygmy

·         Slapping slid

·         Chinning a Chris Malone

·         Giving yer boss a cheeky kiss on his bald head when you’re clocking off, 

 
OUTs

·         Being Liverpool

·         Knee length testies

·         Mark Lawrenson

·         That mad firm at the buzzcocks gig (50 yrs olds in sheepie’s in a mosh pit isn’t a great look)

·         Steve Diggles dodgy theatrics

·         Lushwives

·         “Hurr hurrr hurrr” laughs

·         BRodgers self portrait

·         You STILL wearing hoodies? Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

·         wearing your lads north face

·         jimmy saville rinses,

·         talking about lines all the fuckin time

·         saying totally agree mate, when your thinking get me away from this boring fuck being stressed,

·         stressing out,

·         stressing over xmas menus

·         the word stress,

·         not being stressed out

·          not recognising stress,

·         stress related cardigans

·         refuting things

·         having a cat as a mate,

·         whistling soft porn tunes,

·         not remembering,

·         concentrating ,

·         the word bugle,

·         having a cousin who’s a loon

·         shouting medication time on the train

·         robbin’ rembrandts.

·         Stealing steak

·         Nicking Nike

·         Pickpocketing Police

·         Taking teak

·         Getting a tit nudge off yer nan

·         Young pups passing on wisdom to you

·         Having a spat with China,

·         Kicking fuck out of a sausage

·         Ball bag beards

·         “Dickcember”( leave your dick hanging out your zipper for the entire month of December for charity)

·         Polishing your elbows

·         Frying a frozen fritter on a Friday

·         Diced coffee.
 
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By Mick Potter & Phil Jones
 
Its nearly Christmas 2012 and you can still buy The END BOOK and see more  lns & Outs, mad letters, good poems, shite poems ..and fuckin millions of spelling mistakes and bad grammar, as the book reviewers (poncy southern, ex student types) keep pointing out.
There’s a limited amount of signed copies in Waterstones on Bold Street and in the Liverpool 1 Waterstones store... and of course you can still get it on line here.

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