Staying on a South American theme did y’see ol’ tattoo ted himself DAVE BOY BECKS tear arseing through the AMAZONIAN rainforest scarin’ the shit out of endangered hunter gatherers and killing untold numbers of grubs and beetles . Yes the well-known conservationist BECKHAM rumoured to be lined up for David Attenborough’s job when those gorillas get payback time, was on a quest (err Mr BBC MAN WHAT DOES QUEST MEAN AGAIN?) A nervous and excited BECKS was heard to ask) on motorbike with a few likeminded souls to find himself , his true being , being at one with nature and lots of other stuff like that.
For fucks sake does anyone believe this shite ? Him and the lads, ah yes it’s always the lads done more damage than a posse of LATINO LOGGERS could manage in years. They had more gear with them than PINK FLOYD on the road. This nauseating bollocks coupled with the predictable hugs and back slaps off the lads had me praying for a local to produce one last salvo of poison darts and do us all a favour. No such luck.
Moving on a couple of months and where does the great white explorer DOCTOR BECKHAM turn up? A Swirling mass of millionaire mountain climbers Potholing charity campaigning greats and an assortment of inbred toffs who’ve never done a day’s hard graft in theirfuckin lives ? Endlings, I gave you the royal box at WIMBLEDON. Good to see SCOTTIE ROADS finest PRISSILA WHITE deep in the morass. Our CILLA…….I wonder if ROLF has sent her the V.O yet ?
So what next for BECKS and the lads? De-lousing poxed up badgers, flossing polar bears with dodgy molars (hope so) I suppose it’s not his fault the lads are in tow. Whether it’s a gang of divis carrying a blow up doll from bar to bar or a rump of 40 plus (in years and numbers) fat ‘eads squeezed into NORTH FACE anything cos it’s the lads!...well that makes its alright doesn’t it? Sorry must dash. Going out with the lads it’s the pool team reunion! STAY TUNED FOR THE POOL TEAM REUNION.