This shall be known as the Rant....Weekly? Monthly? Who knows?
World cup news, forget the Suarez chomp on the tatty PRIMARNI Italian shirt. Y ‘see that’s the problem......quality control. Let me explain. Previous world cups always showed Italian style at its best ,whether it be baggy shorts when everyone was wearing budgie smuggling speedos or even a nice glass of vino with your grub while others supped on cabbage juice prescribed by a smack ‘ed chancer of a shrink who frankly couldn’t believe his luck. Austerity is to blame. Six months ago my impeccable sources i.e one of the lads on the door at the supa dupa PRIMARNI store,Liverpool city centre, overheard a conversation which basically was a contract for the firm that clothes the nation to err sort Italy with world cup kits… with extra strong brown carrier bags thrown in for free ( extra strong to cope with the humidity humidity and the humidity ) Previously it was always KAPPA on the pitch AMARNI for the night clubs. Sadly economics dealt the azurri a cruel hand. Cut to the chase a decent KAPPA would never have fell apart just because a chap slobbered on your shoulder . Maybe they could bring them back hope they’ve kept the receipt. MORALITY.... Just how far up Terrence Henry’s carsy was GAL LINEKERS tongue ? Hand ball HENRY? sssshh GAL don’t want to mention that FRANCE /IRELAND game when the boring French man thought he was on a basketball pitch thus denying the republic world cup glory in SOUTH AFRICA.
Give me that loon ROBBIE SAVAGE any day! don’t know if its twins or triplets he’s expecting but at least he’s .....well, a loon. Being French doesn’t mean you’re naturally interesting. Over on ITV we have that fella who hosts the show ( where did the man whose name i can’t be arsed finding out come from ?) and CLARKE CARISLE the black RAY WILKINS sorry CLARKE I’ll take that back, too cruel. GORDON STRACHAN is great and who’s that fella who’s always incandescent with rage ? Probably all hanging out of Amazonian brasses, jammy bastards. Highlight of the tournament so far has to be FREDS muzzie. What a great name as well! would have been really weird if he had thrown the O on the end which is always a guarantee of world cup immortality. By the way are all those super models simply hanging around the grounds or what ? The beasty Brazilian camera men never fail in their efforts to introduce top quality totty to the slobbering masses. Coupled with lardy oafs in divi traditional garb to ensure gender balance thus preventing Guardian readers from complaining and being outraged on channel 4 news.....still beasts though.